What’s Draining You? Shift from Frustration to Focus

If you’re a woman in your 40s or 50s, you already know: your energy is precious. Between hormone changes, the mental load of family and work, and navigating perimenopause stress, it’s easy to feel like your tank is empty before the day even begins.

But here’s the truth: a lot of your energy isn’t gone—it’s leaking away into things you can’t control.

Let’s talk about how to stop draining your mental and emotional energy and start reclaiming it for what matters most.

The “Energy Vampire” That’s Silently Draining You

Have you heard of energy vampires? Appliances like your coffee maker or printer suck power even when they’re turned off.

Your thoughts do the same thing.

When you spend your day replaying frustrations, worrying about the future, or getting stuck in “this isn’t fair” mode, you’re letting mental and emotional energy vampires drain your power.

And that’s energy you could be using to age better, improve your healthspan, and feel like yourself again.

The Navy SEAL Trick for Mental Strength

Life doesn’t always go as planned. (Understatement, right?)

When chaos hits, Navy SEALs fall back on one question:

👉 “What can I control right now?”

Not what’s fair. Not what “should” have happened. Just the controllables.

It’s the exact mindset shift that helps them stay alive—and it’s the same one that will help you thrive through midlife challenges like perimenopause symptoms, stress, or setbacks in your health journey.

The Stoic Shortcut to Aging Better

The ancient Stoic philosophers said it best:

“The chief task in life is to separate matters: what’s beyond my control, and what choices are mine to make.” – Epictetus

This practice is timeless. Focusing on what you can control and letting go of what you can’t frees up enormous amounts of energy.

Think of it as a midlife mindset shift: less wasted frustration, more momentum toward your best future self.

A Simple 2-Column Hack to Reclaim Energy

Here’s a quick, practical way to stop leaking energy:

1. Grab a piece of paper and make two columns.
   
   

2. In Column 1, list everything you cannot control (the weather, other people’s choices, genetics, outcomes).
   
   

3. In Column 2, write down what you can control (your habits, effort, sleep routine, nutrition, boundaries, mindset).
   
   

This exercise is like unplugging those hidden energy vampires. Suddenly, you see where your mental and emotional energy leaks are—and how to redirect your focus to where it makes a difference.

What High Performers Already Know

• Poker champion Annie Duke didn’t win by controlling the cards—she won by mastering her decisions.
  
  

• CrossFit champion Katrin Davidsdottir didn’t waste mental energy on her competitors—she doubled down on her own performance.
  
  

You don’t need to be an elite athlete to use the same principle. By plugging your energy leaks, you’ll show up stronger in your workouts, more consistent with your healthy habits, and more resilient in midlife.

Why This Matters in Your 40s and 50s

This season of life can feel overwhelming:

• Hormone changes (hello, perimenopause and menopause).
  
  

• Doctors dismissing your symptoms.
  
  

• A body that doesn’t bounce back like it used to.
  
  

• Family and work stress that never seems to let up.
  
  

It’s easy to let frustration and worry drain your energy. But when you stop investing in uncontrollables and instead focus on your daily controllables—sleep hygiene, nutrition, exercise, mindset—you’ll free up energy for healing, growth, and even joy.

Your Takeaway

Ask yourself right now: What’s draining me?

• Am I leaking energy into things I can’t change?
  
  

• Where can I redirect my focus toward what I can control?
  
  

• What daily choices will help me age better and feel stronger in midlife?
  
  

✨ Reclaiming your energy isn’t about working harder. It’s about working smarter—redirecting what you already have into the habits that actually move the needle for your healthspan.

Final Word

Your 40s and 50s are not about survival—they’re about learning how to thrive. Stop leaking energy into battles you can’t win. Plug the drains, reinvest in what’s controllable, and you’ll discover you have way more energy than you thought.

Because the truth is: you’re not drained—you’re just misalllocated.